This week I have learned about the power of prayer, and the importance of persistence.
An amazing miracle happened this week. I had been praying, “My dear Cassandra, I bless you with love and I release you to your highest good.” The response in Cassandra was quite amazing. She said, “I don’t know why I put it off so long, but I decided that I need to apply for my Master’s Degree.” The deadline was on Wednesday, and the entire application process was extremely positive. The reference letters were amazing, and we were able to focus for several days on Cassandra’s gifts and the positive direction her life was heading. It was absolutely wonderful. I thought that perhaps the long depression, which began on August 10, was over.
Unfortunately, once the deadline was met, Cassandra’s depression returned.
It is a great challenge to be married to someone with depression. There was no Valentine’s card from Cassandra, and the card I gave her was not acknowledged, just as the Christmas and birthday gifts were not accepted. I identify strongly with the story of Job from the Bible. My beautiful and cherished wife has been taken away, just as Job lost all that he possessed. Yet through faithfulness and perseverance, all of Job’s treasures were returned, and he was rewarded for his faithfulness. There is a great deal of truth in this. We see it over and over not only in spiritual writings, but also in history. Victor Frankl lost all that he had in the concentration camps of World War II, but went on to become one of the best selling authors of all time with his book Man’s Search for Meaning. This is a classic book of Faith, perseverance and controlling one’s thoughts. Frankl lived by what he taught, and his life was one of triumph.
When a person struggles with mental illness, they can be very intelligent and articulate, their words make sense to them, and they speak them with conviction. I find, however, that often after listening to Cassandra I am exhausted. I have found that when I find truth, it energizes me. It would then make sense that finding untruth would bring exhaustion. What I typically do in these instances is pray for guidance and open the Bible. The message that I always get is one of trusting in God and good overcoming evil. I do not mean to say that Cassandra is in any way evil, but her words are not truth. I have learned to accept and forgive Cassandra, to allow her to keep her thoughts, and to allow myself to keep my own.
Regardless of our circumstances, our greatest freedom is to choose our own thoughts. There are amazing books of wisdom now in the public domain, and one of these is As a Man Thinketh by James Allen. Our thoughts determine our lives. If we think thoughts of anger and hatred, we are consumed by these and this brings destruction. If we think of love, kindness, compassion and forgiveness, we live lives of peace, prosperity and goodness. It makes a lot of sense to me. Despite Cassandra’s inner turmoil and her harsh words, I am at peace. I control my thoughts, therefore I control my emotions, words and actions. I know that much good will come of the challenge of my marriage. Indeed it is a great blessing.
The book As a Man Thinketh is small and relatively easy to read. It can be downloaded for free at:
May God bless you with peace and joy.
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