Standing for my Principles

I spoke this week about my current situation with a friend who has known me for many years.  I described to him what is happening and the decision I had made.  Either we look seriously at Cassandra’s issues and how they are impacting our relationship and begin to heal, or we end the relationship.  My friend is a very insightful, deeply spiritual, aboriginal fellow, and he said, “There is something very different about you now.  You have a different energy about you.”

I replied, “I’ve been able to detach from Cassandra and the situation.”

He said, “No, it is not just detachment.  You’ve established a principle and are no longer going to compromise.  You have said, ‘This is as far as we go, and no further.’  That is a really good thing.  That is the way it has to be.  Things cannot move forward in any other way.”

My friend is right.  I have finally taken responsibility for my family.  There is no more compromise.  Sometimes you just have to stand up to others and do the right thing.  When we do that, however, things always work out for the best.  Knowing that gives me tremendous peace.

I look back to just over a year ago where I really began to have problems with Cassandra and her family.  I wrote in this blog then about some friends of ours who had a horrible conflict in their marriage.  The father was struggling with alcohol and went on a binge.  He locked his wife and daughters out of the house.  They came to our house, and of course we welcomed them.  Cassandra’s sister was also at our house and was breathing fire.  The father is a good friend of mine, and being as drunk as he was, his life was in danger.  I said, “I need to check on him and make sure he’s OK.”

Cassandra’s sister turned and glared at me in a way that I have never seen on a human face; it was quite terrifying.  She said, “What do you need to see HIM for?!”

I just replied, “It is just the right thing to do.”

At that moment I really began to awaken.  I began to follow my conscience instead of doing what would please Cassandra and her family.  Any time we follow our conscience, it brings peace and joy, as well as blessings which we cannot even imagine.  Even when it makes us uncomfortable, it is ALWAYS best to simply follow one’s conscience.  

My friend and his wife are now legally separated and filing for divorce.  His wife continues to be best friends with Cassandra’s sister, and every time I see her, she looks quite angry.  Perhaps that is my opinion, however.  My friend has confronted his alcoholism, gotten the help he needed, and moved forward in life.  It is as if, after many years, he has begun to discover again who he really is.  Serendipitously, when I needed a place to stay as I left Cassandra, he welcomed me into his home.

And so my journey continues.  I am praying that Cassandra agrees to get help and work with me in her recovery process; but, I am also prepared to move on.  Prayer is an amazing thing.  Even if God’s answer  to our requests is “no”, great things always happen.  That simple confidence fills me with peace, joy and an indescribable optimism.

May God bless you.

Christian