The Alchemist

I returned home from camp this week.  It is good to be home.  I missed my family, as well as such comforts as sleeping in the same building where the bathroom is.  While I was away, I noticed that Cassandra had continued her efforts to move away from me.  She converted her office into a bedroom and moved out of the master bedroom.  She created a beautiful space for herself.  Some husbands may see that as a bad thing, but I understand Cassandra and understand her needs.  She came out of an abusive home, and has never been out of a relationship with a man for any significant length of time.  She has therefore never been able to come to a point of healing.  All of her relationships with men, except mine, have ended badly.  I have no problem giving her the space she needs to grow.  That is one of the reasons why I was so happy when I was at camp, I knew that Cassandra needed the time.  “If you love something, let it go.  If it returns to you it is yours, if it does not, it never was.”

This view on love is affirmed over and over in an amazing book that I am reading right now called The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho.  The boy in the story falls in love with a girl at a desert oasis.   He is struggling with leaving her to pursue his dream and continue on his journey.  She says to him, “I want you to continue toward your goal….the dunes are changed by the wind, but the desert never changes.  That is the way it will be with our love for each other.”  This also defines my love for Cassandra.  My role in loving her is to continue to support her in following her dreams, in finding herself, even if she does not realize it.

The Alchemist is about far more than relationships.  It is about pursuing our purpose in life.  As I read, I think of my own goals, my own dreams, my own destiny, my own Personal Legend.  It is a beautiful adventure.  In a way, a book like this is an oasis in the desert of life with a loved one with mental illness.  It is so important and beautiful to step away from the distorted reality of Cassandra and find Truth.  In doing so, I can analyze my journey toward my Personal Legend and realize that Cassandra is an important part of that.  In the chaos of her world, I have found myself, just as Victor Frankl found truth and inner power in Nazi concentration camps.  There is nothing in the universe that can stop a person from moving toward his/her own Personal Legend, except for the choices that we ourselves make. Life is a beautiful adventure!