I believe that it is good that I
continually ask myself why I am writing this blog. It is not to demonize my wife in any
way. I feel great love and empathy for
her in her struggles. Yes, she says
hurtful things and does hurtful things.
If I consider, however, that these things are a reflection of what is
going on inside of her and have little or nothing to do with me, her words and
actions are much easier to forgive. If I
am the best person that I can be, constantly seeking greatness, she too will
learn to trust enough to blossom into the person she is meant to be, or she
will move on in her life. There is no
status qua. We grow or we diminish.
Two very powerful quotes come to mind as I
write this.
The first is from Eleanor Roosevelt. She said, “No one can make you feel inferior
without your consent.”
This puzzled me when I first read it. I was not yet able to put things into context
as I am now able to do. I remember thinking,
“Sure, that’s easy to say. Eleanor
Roosevelt did not live in my house. If
she did, she would realize that other people have a lot of power in making us
feel inferior by the things they say to us.”
Now I understand the truth of this
statement. Eleanor Roosevelt actually
grew up in a home much worse than the one that I married into. She knew the power of taking control of our
own thoughts. After embarking on my own
journey of self-discovery, I embrace her words of beautiful truth.
The other quote is from Gandhi. He says, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”
Those who hold on to anger and resentment
destroy their lives. By forgiving, we
take power over our lives and our situations.
We are free. We are powerful. Again, this is a challenging but a beautiful
journey. It leads to great joy,
regardless of our circumstance. I love
Cassandra very much. I can see the
difficult burden that she carries. I can
hear how she is tormented by her own thoughts.
I can also see how, by my forgiveness and love, she is able to
grow.
I do not wish to tell anyone else what to
do. You know your own situation. If you or your children are in physical
danger, you can’t risk staying with your partner. If you have no children yet, you may simply
choose to leave. The best thing that you
can do, regardless of the situation, is to embrace the challenge you now face
as an opportunity for growth. My book tells
the story of my journey of self-discovery.
It is short and you can buy an electronic copy for under $3.00 (printed
copies cost a bit more). My desire is
that this story gives you hope.
Here is a link to order my book: http://www.friesenpress.com/bookstore/title/119734000005730268/Christian-Gottlieb-Finding-the-Power-Within%3A--The-Blessings-of-a-Challenging-Marriage/SEL000000
May God bless you!
Christian